Raising a Confident Girl

   Nadiva is turning 3 this year. Basically my "Terrific 2" is coming to an end - hopefully - or does it ever end? 

Right now I have my work really cut out as a mother, a sister, a friend,a role model and etc to this amazing little mini me.

Through the years (2 years) I have watched her grow and learn a couple of stuff. I learnt that what ever I do as a mother affects her either positively or negatively so I had to cut down a lot of things. I watch how I speak, how I dress, What I eat and most importantly how I treat people. It is not an easy task though. People think that a daughters trouble begins with maybe the Menses or the teenage years but I believe its not. Charity begins at home - Make hay while the sun shines- is a proverb I live by when it comes to parenting.

Deep down I knew/know that I wanted to raise a girl who is self reliant, intelligent. A girl who thinks on her feet, a girl who can cope with every situation, a girl who is not afraid to speak her mind, I believe I have done and still i am doing a good job.

I embarked on a research to find out ideas to improve on the same and I thought... why not share with my readers...

Well as we all know girls usually start off life at full steam. They're the early talkers, the social butterflies, the A students (Look at Goldalyn). But somewhere between preschool and middle school, a confusing blend of new social pressures, greater expectations in the classroom, and mixed signals from society (“Do your best – but don’t draw too much attention to yourself,” “You can be anything you want to be – but looking pretty is your top priority”) can cause girls to fall behind academically or lose their spark.

(This is Nadiva .....photo creds @K4tography)

Here's what you can do to build your daughter's confidence and resilience for the tricky years ahead:

1. Encourage assertiveness.

Teach your daughter to express her needs to adults and stand her ground with her peers. If another child is being mean to her, encourage her to say "I don't like the way you're talking to me." 

2. Be specific in your compliments.

When you tell your daughter how smart she is, it means much more if you use concrete examples. Tell her "You have a really good memory" or "Girl!, you sure know your dinosaurs."

3. Make your praise match reality.

A 3 - 6 year old will know that she's not a musical genius or the best artist on the planet, but she'll appreciate it if you notice her improvement from one month to the next. 

4. Help her understand why she sometimes gets left out.

Explain to your daughter that if she isn't invited to every birthday party or to join every jump-rope game (and she won't be), it's not meant to be an insult. Explain that when another child says "You can't be my friend," it probably has more to do with that child's bad mood than it does with your daughter.

5. Encourage competence.

Don't be too quick to help your daughter with homework or chores. If she asks for help, ask her to try working through it for a couple more minutes on her own first.

6. Encourage her to play sports if she wants to.

Girls have more sporty options than ever before. If she wants to do gymnastics or play football, give her a chance to get in the game and find out what she's capable of. Don't decide which sports are right for her – she can figure it out herself.

7. Don't make assumptions about her strengths and weaknesses.

Just because your child is a girl doesn't mean she'll struggle with fractions – or that she'll ace reading tests. It also doesn't mean she won't want to go fishing or try out for other arts. Follow her cues to best nurture her strengths and work on improving her weaknesses.

8. Encourage a healthy body image.

When she asks the inevitable "Am I pretty?" answer her with an enthusiastic YES. When you praise her appearance, try to highlight her actions, too: "You looked so graceful in church today" or "Your eyes really shone on the stage."

It can also be helpful for older girls to hear that models in magazines don't look like real girls or women and that their photographs are altered to make them look thinner and more flawless than they actually are.

9. Prepare her for sexism.

Even today, some people think that girls can't do some things that boys can. If you notice your daughter watching TV shows or movies where girls stay in the background while boys save the day, point it out and talk to her about how different things are in the real world.

10. Point out positive female role models.

Take every opportunity, when you're watching the news or reading the paper, to show your daughter that women – senators, sportscasters, doctors, athletes – can do anything.

Reading books with strong female characters is one of the best ways to get the idea across without lecturing. If you can't think of enough books like that, ask a librarian – they often have lists of books to choose from and can make recommendations better yet Google is your friend.

11. The BIBLE.

We always tend to forget that it is important to raise your girl in the ways of God. 

All the Best.. 

Let me know your thoughts on the article and maybe share your experiences with your daughter/Niece/ younger sister, learning curve.

Thank you for reading.

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